


The Dreamiest Dad

by Mozzarella



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, I'll be tagging characters when they appear in the story, M/M, Multi, POV Third Person, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Rating May Change, Trans Male Character, Trans Male Dadsona
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-06 09:32:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11597859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mozzarella/pseuds/Mozzarella
Summary: In which Dadsona (Dees, for short) decides to throw in his lot with all the dads of the cul-de-sac. At the same time. Seven Dream Dads and a Wine Mom (and their various beautiful children and puppies of all shapes and sizes) are surprisingly okay with that.





	1. Craig: The Softball Mom Problem

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I just??? write a fic in twenty minutes??? after not writing in so long??? I don't know what to tell you guys.

One of the funniest bits about the whole situation, Dees reflected, was the fact that the softball moms that made up Craig's avid fanbase still thought he was some kind of live-in babysitter. Dees could admit to himself that he could feel nothing but glee that time Craig celebrated a particularly ecstatic game win, soaked in Gatorade and riding on the adrenaline high, by pulling Dees into a passionate kiss that had him bent over backwards from the force of it, held up only by Craig's strong arms, while the other moms looked on aghast. 

It didn't take long for that particular show to fade from their memory—a good three weeks later they were back at it again, fawning over Craig like some thirsty safari animals around a watering hole, and when Craig made a point to greet Dees with a crushing bro hug and sweetheart's kiss, one of the moms actually said they thought the two had broken up. Three weeks into finding out they were together. 

Which would have been funnier if she hadn't mentioned what made her think so. 

“I saw you canoodling with a brooding fella in a leather jacket near the woods that time, I swear it,” she said indignantly, mostly talking to Craig, who looked uncomfortable but not altogether surprised. Dees shrugged, trying to play it off as nothing while also trying not to die inside. 

“Can't a guy spend time with his friends in a not-so-suspicious romp in the woods?” he said, trying to act unaffected even as the words made him feel dirty. The twins looked like they were ready and willing to back him up if possible, if not chase the suspicious moms away with their softball bats. 

“Hey look over there!” one of the girls, either Briar or Hazel (with their hair tucked under their hats it was hard to tell, but Dees thought he was at least getting better at identifying them by face, if not by identical voice), said, distracting the moms long enough for them to make their timely escape. 

“I'm so sorry about that,” Dees started, but Craig stopped him with a solid hand on his shoulder and a firm kiss to the forehead. 

“Bro, don't be. Our personal lives are none of their business, and they should've respected us being together enough to not butt in. Seriously.” He smiled, getting Dees to smile along with him, grinning shyly from behind his hair. 

“So, uh...” Craig then said, looking a bit awkward as he scratched the back of his head. The twins were taking turns carrying River and the two dads trailed behind at a responsible distance, just far enough not to be heard. “How's, ah, Robert doing?” 

Dees shrugged, smiling warmly, his eyes set to the middle distance as his mind drifted to the man in question. “He's doing fine, far as I can tell? He's drinking less, though he hasn't gone cold turkey just yet. He's making a real effort though. He and Mary are trying to cut down, and the three of us make a point not to get anything alcoholic when we're out on the town sometimes. Most days, we spend time in the woods hunting the Dover Ghost, or the strange beast that we encountered up in the hills one time, and—the look on your face is one I haven't seen since Smashley claimed you could clear up a hangover by eating pig testicles.” 

“Not that I don't believe you, but sometimes I get the feeling you and Robert operate on this whole other, like, plane of speech that has some deeper meaning us mere mortals aren't ever gonna get, and maybe on that plane you actually do hunt ghosts and fight monsters and we just never noticed because we're too busy being dads to notice the rising undead threat,” Craig said, and Dees laughed uncontrollably, setting River into amused gurgles and giggles, the tiny girl reaching her arms out to her other, considerably less healthy and swole, dad figure. 

“You'll never know,” Dees said after taking River into his hands and lifting her over his head, making her squeal with laughter. His face turned serious for a moment before he sighed. “Man, I wish I was too busy being a dad to notice the rising undead threat.”

Craig looked apologetic. “Sorry, I didn't mean—”

“Totally not your fault, not even a little,” Dees said, winking reassuringly. “I miss my Manda Panda everyday regardless. I guess it's nice that Robert knows what it's like to have a daughter old enough and strong and independent enough to be away and all, even if our situations aren't exactly the same. Plus, you know, who else will fight the supernatural elements threatening Maple Bay?” 

Craig gave a warm laugh, pulling Dees one-armed to his side, River between them while Briar and Hazel got in on either side of them. “Man, how can we possibly repay you for your bravery in fighting the supernatural threat? Any ideas, girls?” 

“Fro-Yo on the bay?” Briar suggested, and Hazel nodded vigorously in response. “Hero's Fro-Yo! One for Dees, one for Robert!” 

“I'm sure he'd love that,” Dees said, thinking of how warmed Robert would be by the gesture. Man, but daughters were great. 

Dees met Craig's eyes, wondering if he had any problems with the kids acknowledging, even tangentially, Robert's relationship with him, but Craig just gave him a reassuring nod, looking somewhere between enamored and proud. Dees blushed, biting his tongue to keep his smile from getting too wide.


	2. Robert (feat Joseph and Mary): Bacon and Bait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things aren't perfect, relationship wise, but they're getting closer every day

It hadn’t gotten easier waking up to an empty house, even with the daily texts from Amanda brightening Dees' morning. It wasn't quite coffee, but Dees didn't think coffee made him feel quite as warm on the inside as Amanda’s RISE AND SHINE SLEEPYHEAD on the dot almost every morning did.

Nobody could replace Amanda in Dees’ home, but it was nice to have company waking up regardless. Robert was wrapped around Dees like a limpet, and his feathery hair tickled the man awake.

“Ugh, I'm being assaulted by the Dover hair tickler,” Dees groaned.

“I'll write your eulogy, you'll never escape its grasp,” Robert shot back immediately, and Dees suspected the Dadsense that warned fathers like them of an opportunity to make a terrible joke was what had pulled him from sleep.

“Uh-uh, Damien already called dibs on writing my eulogy, and it will be lovely and poetic, and won't give me any crap like I'm sure yours will,” Dees said, and Robert snorted into his back in amusement.

“I could get him to let me write it. I'm in good with Mary and him, I could convince him I'm doing it out of, I dunno, passion for a lost love.”

“Damien likes me better and you know it, I could veto you,” Dees replied, blushing from the collar up at the mention of lost love. Robert smirked like the cat that got the canary and sucked on Dees' collar, brushing against a sensitive nipple and making him moan.

Robert backed off almost immediately, though his expression was one of dreamy promise. “Sorry,” he said gently. “Got carried away there.”

Dees gestured for him to come back into the soft embrace (even with all the exercising Dees now did with Craig, there was no getting rid of his enduring Dad chub, not that he minded) and Robert settled, sighing away all the tension in his shoulders and chest.

“I know you need time, but I'm yours if you asked it. I can leave off if you ask it. I'm too invested in this to mess it up now.”

Robert gently stroked calloused fingers along the line along Dees’ ribs, under the seam of his chest—the raised scar soft under his touch.

“You know what your problem is?” Robert said, without any real heat. “You’re always so desperate to please everyone.”

“You got me,” Dees agreed. “I do want everyone I love to be happy. One of my vices.”

Robert grumbled into his chest.

"What was that?"

"You don't gotta keep giving parts of yourself if you don't want to, especially for people who don't deserve it. Don't deserve you," Robert clarified.

Dees lifted his head to eye Robert critically.

"Hm," he said thoughtfully.

"What?" Robert said, responding warily to Dees' odd look.

"I don't see anybody who doesn't deserve me or my time and affection in this room," Dees said eventually, "so I'm not entirely sure what we're talking about."

Robert untangled himself from Dees' hold, getting up with a scowl. Dees shivered at the loss of warmth.

"I should be getting back," he said gruffly."In case something broke in while I was gone. You never know."

"Oh," Dees said, trying to rein in his shame and disappointment.

Robert seemed to deflate then, looking back at Dees and finding hurt in the expression he failed to hold back. He leaned down, a knee and a hand braced on the firm mattress while his other hand cupped Dees' jaw, pulling him in for a soft, sweet kiss.

"You're right," Dees said as he pulled away.

"About?"

"I'm desperate to please," Dees said, "and I act like a goddamn kicked puppy every time I feel like I've messed up."

"You didn't mess anything up," Robert said gently. "You took a mess and made something amazing out of it. And I'm honestly real goddamn lucky I'm part of it."

Dees smiled against his lips, kissing the corner of his mouth tenderly.

"I love you," he said without preamble. Robert tensed for a second, but nodded firmly, like it was a decision he had to make in that moment.

"You too," he said thickly, swallowing against a lump in his throat. "Love you too," he said with more conviction.

Dees sat up, brushing his hair back from his face.

"Still gotta go, or you wanna stay for breakfast?"

Surprisingly, despite the tension he'd be carrying that almost had him out the door, Robert agreed to stay for breakfast. If he thought he was ready for it, Dees would have asked to join him in the shower, but for now Robert was comfortable enough to get a start on the meal while Dee washed up.

When he got to the kitchen, shirtless and with an undignified towel turban perched atop his head, Dees made a beeline to the stove where Robert was frying some aromatic bacon and he hugged the man from behind, taking a good whiff of his own shampoo in Robert's hair, mixed with the smokey undertone of Robert's own scent.

Robert took in Dees' state of undress and he could see warmth in every corner of his face, even if his expression was meant to be neutrally mocking, one eyebrow raised in challenge.

"You're a tart, Dee," Robert said, and Dees laughed, chest and stomach pressed to Robert's back.

"I'm easy," Dees said, inflecting seriousness. "Give me bacon and a good hug and I'm yours for life."

"Well in that case," Robert said, turning in his grip, eyes full of promise. But before they could get started on anything that would have definitely led to bacon charred by negligence, there was a knock on the front door. They both groaned.

"I'll get it," Dees said. "Stick with the bacon, make sure it doesn't fall to the hands of demons."

"Make sure you put on a shirt," Robert bade, a kindness Dees was sure he wouldn't have offered before their closeness. He'd probably enjoy Dees' embarrassment any other day, but they were testing boundaries this morning and trying for serious for once, which warmed Dees to no end.

He tugged the towel turban off his head, his long hair cascading into his shoulders in a stringy, wet mess. He grabbed a shirt that he'd brought with him to the living room and threw it on before answering the door.

On the other side stood Joseph, with his usual congenial neighbor smile, though Dees knew him well enough to know that he was more tired than usual.

"Heya, neighbor," he said, self-depreciating. On his arm was a sweet little baby girl with surprisingly brown hair and green eyes that didn't follow the blond and blues of her siblings, who were all standing behind Joseph, the twins looking creepy as usual and Chris still as closed off as one would expect. "Mary and I had our session moved up to today. I know it's completely out of nowhere and I'm sorry for the inconvenience but if they could hang with you for the day? If it's not a good time, we can probably pull a favor with Damien, though I'm pretty sure the kids scare him a little—”

Dees threw a nervous-looking glance over his shoulder, thinking the matter over. “Um, well, it wouldn't be a problem, but I gotta go check with, uh—”

Even with his arrangement-slash-relationship with the dads of the cul-de-sac, there was still this sort of painful limbo whenever you got Robert and Joseph in the same room, and the fact that Mary, of all people, was the one who could diffuse it, said a lot about how uncomfortable it made everyone, Dees included.

It only occurred to him then that the sound of frying bacon had stopped, and the wide-eyed look Joseph had at something over Dees' shoulder alerted him to Robert appearing behind him in the living room.

“Robert,” Joseph said, sounding strained. “Morning.”

Robert grunted what could probably sort of pass for a greeting, and nodded at the kids. “Where's Mary?”

“In the car, I—”

Joseph stopped as Robert shouldered past him (not roughly, which Dees thought was a major improvement) at the door, and Dees could see him wave a hand at Mary in the car idling in front of his house.

“Your hellspawn eat the last babysitter you hired, is that why you gotta get Dees to do your dirty work?” he called, making Joseph's expression go sour, but it seemed like Joseph knew the banter between Mary and Robert well enough that he didn't protest.

“If you're getting involved I better tell them to find a good stove to shove you into,” Mary shot back. Her shoulders were tense and Dees could tell that she'd have a glass of wine in one hand if they weren't driving to a marriage counselor, but Robert put her at ease, even just the littlest bit.

“They like Dees though, so don't worry. He'll be safe.”

Dees actually laughed at that one, and Mary gave him a small, warm smile from the car window.

“So is that a...” Joseph began, and Dees put a hand on Joseph's arm in lieu of his shoulder, where his youngest daughter was settled comfortably.

“Yes, Joseph. Robert and I will watch after the kids. You gave me their allergy list and genera schedule, so we should be alright. I promise not to let Robert use them as ghost bait in the woods.”

Joseph chuckled. “Between you and me, I think they'd enjoy that more than just staying over. Just make sure they don't get their hands on any scissors and you should be fine.”

“You got it,” Dees said, smiling. “Good luck with you and Mary.”

He glanced back to Mary in the car, and the woman blew him a dry kiss, which he responded to with one of his own, more dramatic and utterly ridiculous than hers. He then turned to Joseph, and with some consideration, lifted up on his toes to peck Joseph lightly on the cheek as he carefully extricated Crish from his grip.

“Come on, guys,” he said, watching Joseph make his way back to the car, subtly bringing a hand up to his face where Dees' lips had touched. Mary gave him an unreadable look, but not a negative one, before they pulled away and disappeared around the corner. He refrained from touching Chris, who didn't like unexpected contact, but the twins looked around the house in interest. Dees made a mental note to hide anything vaguely sharp.

“Gonna fry up some extra bacon for the tiny ones,” Robert said.

“We already ate,” Chris said, arms crossed tight over his chest.

“Well if you're up for second breakfast, it'll be there.”

“Second breakfast?” Christie and Christopher said in unison. “What's that?” Christie added.

Dees was about ready to explain the merits of Tolkien's work and the probably easier to digest Jackson films, but first turned to Robert, winking.

“You regret staying the morning yet?”

“Not a chance. Needed some bait to lure out the Dover Ghost anyway.”

Dees laughed, brushing a kiss to the side of Robert's chin, erring on the side of sandpaper rough from his stubble. It was a thank you, fortunately something they didn't need to say aloud to communicate.

“Yes, Dees,” he said in jest, mimicking Robert, “Joseph and Mary will be so happy to know we took their kids to an absolutely safe and fun-filled trip to the woods where they dismembered a stuffed toy once.”

“They did what?”


	3. Brian: Casting lines (and doubts)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian's an old fashioned guy, but damn if he lets that get in the way of who he loves and what he wants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love brian  
> goodnight

 

"I really don't know how you do it."

There was a tinge of awe in Brian's voice that Dees was finally able to identify, the warmth of pride settling into his gut even before he knew what Brian was talking about.

"Do what?" Dees asked, concentrating on hooking bait without poking his hand this time, and though it looked wonky in the end, he didn't bleed this time, which he thought was a major improvement.

"Spend time with everybody--all the men in your life, the way you do! I don't get the impression anybody feels like you haven't given us all your attention, so I can't figure it out." Brian looked a bit nervous, and Dees could tell he was worried he'd offend. He was never the best with words, he'd always be the first to admit even his ten year old daughter was far smarter than he was, and the fact that Dees never picked up on that humility had him cursing himself to this day.

"Debilitating loneliness, the dire need to please people I care about, and a lot of free time?" Dees joked, but Brian gave him a look that said he didn't appreciate Dees putting himself down. Dees sighed.

"I mean, I'm not lying," he said. Daisy wasn't present for the trip they decided to take for the Wednesday morning, when Brian asked him for the company after a particularly difficult contract job had finally come to a successful conclusion and Dees didn't have any deadlines until the next week. Amanda wasn't present for obvious reasons, though she sent him a plethora of sad emojis when he described how delicious their freshly caught fish dinner would be.

"Don't make it sound like a failure," Brian said, shaking his head. "I don't know anybody like you, Dees. That's a compliment, in case you couldn't tell. You're amazing, and I've got six other guys back home who'd agree with me in a heartbeat. Granted Robert would probably say something that doesn't sound like he's agreeing even though he is, but my point still stands!"

Brian's bluster, especially on his behalf, was spectacularly endearing. Dees couldn't help but wrap his arms around his broad shoulders and squeeze himself tight to Brian's chest. Brian looked flustered, but relaxed into the hug, his strong arms around Dees. God, but he had great arms. Dees thought he could give good hugs, but Brian's size and the warmth of him was enough to put even Dees to shame.

"I got really lucky, for starters," Dees said, "meeting some frankly amazing single dads when I got here. Making connections I didn't know I'd make. I always thought I was bad at making friends, so finding myself with all these people I really felt a connection to kind of overwhelmed me. After Amanda left it felt kind of like... I dunno. Like I had to be honest with myself. Amanda was always the one who got me to do it, but without her around I had to make the big decisions myself."

"Heck of a decision," Brian said with a wink. Dees laughed.

"God I was terrified of what you'd all think of me. Can't choose between you, I'd have all of you if you were willing. Must have sounded like a total asshole. If I had waited a day longer, the terror of being alone without Amanda to back me up would have kept me silent on the matter forever. As it stood, Amanda being brave enough to go it alone in college made me believe I could do this. Make her proud, maybe. Though I’m sure this wasn’t what she expected when she told me to go out and make friends."

"Took me a bit to decide how I felt about it," Brian sighed. "It kinda helped Damien was so good about it the second you told us. Damien’s always been good with the unusual, but no matter how out of left field his ideas get he’s always done right by everybody. He’s the best of us, really, and if he didn’t think ill of it, well, it couldn’t be so bad, right? But the way I was raised... you know. Sometimes it’s hard to let those dumb old ideas go, even when you know you’re being silly. By the time the next barbecue rolled around and I'd worried myself a hole into the living room, I was almost definitely the last one to talk to you about how I felt. What I wanted."

"What did Daisy think about it when you were worrying a hole into the floor?" Dees asked.

"She got me to talking about what was bothering me. I was worried she was too young to understand it, since relationships are different from numbers and poetry and whatnot, but then she squared up, looked me in the eye, said she'd help me best she could, and next thing you know she's printing out a pamphlet and telling me that it's called Polyamory and that it might or might not work like any sort of relationship. But that it definitely wouldn't work if I didn't try. And what kind of a person would I be if I didn't try for something I really wanted?" His hand settled on the back of Dees' head and Dees shivered in pleasure, closing his eyes and leaning back into the touch.

"She also said she really liked you and Amanda and wanted Amanda to be her big sister for real. Didn't have the heart to tell her it's too early to make those kinds of plans, but she can really get into a good idea if she thinks it's got merit."

"I guess I know who to thank, then," Dees said, grinning. "Daisy's an amazing girl. I know you're proud of her, but I gotta say I'm kinda proud of her too. Even if she's not mine."

"Thank you," Brian said. "Now, we better get to catching before the sun gets too high. Want to make Amanda jealous enough to come home, right?"

"For damn sure," Dees said determinedly. "I bet you can catch more fish than me. Though honestly that's not much of a compliment considering, well, me. I'll think of something better."

"You're getting really good at it, you know," Brian said, winking. "That's not much of a compliment either, by the way. That's just facts."

"Facts or not, at least if a fish ends up pulling me into the water I know who'll pull me out and give me CPR," Dees said, waiting for Brian to set up before casting his line into the water.


	4. Damien/Hugo: Third (cheese) wheeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matchmaking the boyfriends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's supposedly this ending where Damien and Hugo get together and I for one am of the opinion that they are absolutely perfect for each other
> 
> ;)

  
Dees considered the merit of matchmaking when the two people he was trying to matchmake were two of his boyfriends (he wasn't sure if that was really the right term for what they were to him, but lovers felt too direly serious for his personality).

But here he was, wine in hand in a dinner booth, nestled between Hugo and Damien, who were passionately discussing how Victorian culture and attitudes were portrayed in Victorian literature, as opposed to anything written after the era in reference to it.

They were kind of perfect for each other, Dees mused. He sipped his wine thoughtfully, wondering if there was any likelihood of Lucien and Ernest parent trapping them the way Daisy and Amanda had done for him and Brian, and decided he could probably bribe them just enough to convince them it'd add another layer of joy to their lives if their dads spent more time together.

"Oh but Dees, what do you think?" Damien said suddenly, and Dees whipped his head up, caught off guard by the question.

"What do I wha- huh?" Dees said completely coherently, and Damien put a hand over his mouth in what appeared to be embarrassment.

"Oh my, we've been terribly rude, neglecting you while we went right on. And this is meant to be a date!" Damien exclaimed, a bit of cheese toppling over in his plate when he suddenly raised his fork in gesture.

"It definitely is, and I don't mind third wheeling," Dees said, watching smugly as Hugo and Damien glanced at each other before looking down at their respective plates of cheese and breads, blushing beautifully.

"You don't have to tease," Hugo began, but Dees shrugged.

"Who's teasing?" Dees said. "I'm just... Putting it out there. Don't mind me."

Dees hoped he hadn't made everything awful and uncomfortable, but the shy blush still lingering on Damien's face was a good sign, and Hugo's considering look was one Dees recognized, having been on its receiving end before.

"You wouldn't mind it, would you?" He said quietly, almost impossible to hear if Dees wasn't sitting right beside him.

"I can tell you on good authority that Damien is a fantastic date and a true gentleman," Dees said back, "and that nothing would make me happier than two of the men I love might like each other the way I like them."

"That makes this a rather proper date then, doesn't it," Damien said, his shy look turning warm and inviting. "Between the three of us."

"Guess it does," Hugo said, smiling shyly back, right as Richard--aka the Quizmaster not actually named Quinn--announced the night's trivia topic:

"Victorian era facts and fashion!" he announced in his enthusiastic 'i have a good relationship with my wife' announcer voice, and both Dees and Hugo grinned widely at Damien, who was startled to suddenly be the center of attention.

They heard the groans from the next table over, and Carmensita peered over the booth to give them a narrow eyed look.

"This doesn't seem fair," she said, pointing to Damien. Dees laughed.

"Life isn't fair, kid. You guys are going down."


End file.
